boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
