glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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