so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
