why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
