He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That's intense
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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