i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
