You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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