let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
