do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
