So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
