So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
