Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
