Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
