So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize