I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
