her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
