If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
