If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
