a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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