are you still at the devil's house?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
