Whod you bang
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
