I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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