Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
