HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
