weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
