waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
