Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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