I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
