do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
