The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
