im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize