So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
