Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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