On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize