One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
