i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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