bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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