I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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