Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
