I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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