guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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