How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
