Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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