I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
