brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
