billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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