my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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