i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
