before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
