i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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