You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize