i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
