i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
