My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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