used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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