i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
